It has been such a long while since I wrote a Blog for you but my pen is back!!! This is a different blog as a one off experience for you all and I promise to return to HR and business topics soon. I have been on holiday for the last couple of weeks and wanted to give you the highlights and/or lowlights of my time away. This will be an unputdownable, laugh-out-loud blog for you. I dare you not to comment and say it never happens like this. All of what you are about to read is true. Of course it is my version and maybe others might interpret it differently - the decision is yours.
The purpose of the blog is my travelogue over the last couple of weeks and you have to decide Pleasure or Pain.
1. Pleasure or Pain
My journey started at 0330 one morning just before Christmas, as i left the house to travel to Manchester Airport. A minor miracle happened. I travelled all the way there - M62, M6 and M56 - without any other vehicle passing me and I did not break any speed limits. Honest!!! There was hardly a car, van or lorry on the motorway and certainly no police cars. So Yippee, since it meant a good start to the trip.
All of this meant that I would be under starters orders for the G-trail at extra early time. What? You don't have G-trail? It is the ritual of having at least 2 pints of Guinness before embarking on any plane. Magnificent way to start the day. The only problem is that you never know when the next Guinness might be. So it inevitably brings pain, wondering when the next might come, and there's normally somebody asking me when I will stop drinking.
All flights on time but not much time between transfer so it is not a major surprise that my suitcase failed to appear on the carousel. Problem Number One. I don't speak a word of Moldovan, Romanian and barely any Russian - other than Da and Piva. (Yes and beer).
So i just followed the queue. Actually it wasn't a queue at all but more like a scrum down at Twickenham or Murrayfield. And in true fashion, when i eventually got to the front of the queue, actually because i was the last one there all i did was point to a coloured piece of paper illustrating my lost suitcase and then go to the next queue!!! A queue of one now, obviously, to tell them where to send my suitcase when it arrived!!!!
You decide - Pleasure or Pain?
2. Pleasure or Pain
I have previously blogged on this topic but want to reiterate to you how good Moldovan wine is. There are probably very few of you who have drunk it unless you've been to the area or been to Russia. The bad news for Moldova, already the poorest economy in Europe, is that even
Russia has decided not to buy its wine. But for me and my wife give us
Purcari, or
Cricova or
Vartely or
Milestii Mici any day of the week or even weekend. Indeed, I will go so far as to say that I might even give up drinking Guinness. Well, ahem, maybe not.You know how it is.
I will forever champion their wine making and this is not due to any overindulgence apart from drinking every day!!!! No more than you are obliged to do with fine food and company I assure you.
On the other hand let me turn to the customer experience apparently known as breakfast in most parts of the world. And before you ask - no wine was involved in this report!!!
It is true to say that the hotel was not busy despite it being amongst the best around - in the old days the elite from Moscow used it as their hotel of choice when in town. On three days we had a full choice of breakfast options but on the other days......... I hated cheese before. Most days we had a choice of cheese, the like of which Jerry, of Tom and Jerry fame, used to eat with all those holes in it, plus others too many for even my wife to eat. In fact she didn't like most of the offerings either.
The there was the choice of salami or salami or salami. No bacon for me then. I lived on fried eggs and omelette's.
As for the waiters and waitresses. I think they had been to the Basil Fawlty school of serving food. Whenever we entered the dining room area, they disappeared Red Arrow like to all corners of the room or into the kitchen; i.e, as far away as possible.It was almost like this was the training because they did not speak English.
On day two, we changed our tack, and decided to use the pincer movement on them. Firstly, I complained in English, which they did not understand apart from me wanting to speak to the manager. Then when the manager arrived, I complained in English and my wife pounced in Russian!!! Would it work for the following day?What do you think? Should I start to write a Lesson Plan for them? It would look good on My CV.
Yes - you guessed correctly. Our concern for their inability to serve breakfast proved fruitless. For all of the following days, they still flew in unison to all corners of the building. In fact, I am sure one of them did no serving of any description all the time we were there.
One day, Subbuteo 1970 World Cup like, I positioned us at a table where I could monitor all their moves (or rather lack of moves), and i was able to see that they did sod all but the coup d'etat in this was that I could also now see that the Reception area spent most of its time on the internet. The Alan's, Hansen and Shearer, would have a great time describing that master goal movement by me.
By the end of the holiday, we were getting the eggs brought to us without even ordering.. Sometimes bread might appear. Sometimes even more cheese with the odd appearance by peppers. One day we even saw milk!!! I will start crying if you ask me to describe what happened on our last day - so don't ask.
You decide - pleasure or pain?
3. Pleasure or Pain
One of the pleasures of going abroad is to enjoy the different cultures and languages. Normally I can understand, either reading or hearing, something about what is being said in most languages but for Moldovan and Russian I don't have a clue!!! Fortunately there's always the BBC to rely on wherever you are in the world. But there's only so many times I can put up with hearing the same news about somewhere in the world. I can now pass myself off as an expert in the South Sudan emergencies and the politics of Turkey and Egypt.
I didn't spend all my time watching TV but Moldovans definitely like the music of their country (I don't!!!) and the Russians like a good discussion or a piece of nostalgia television. When it came to the celebrations for New Year, things were a little overshadowed by the occurrences in Volgograd, but there were excellent fireworks in the main square along with music. We even saw a very young Rod Stewart interviewed in English with subtitles and he never mentioned Celtic or Scotland. Back to the TV, I longed for the warm noise of Kenneth McKellar, Moira Anderson,Andy Stewart or even my dad singing "
I Belong to Glasgow". I would have loved to hear the Rev I M Jolly.
So click on this for your delight.
You decide - Pleasure or Pain?
4. Pleasure or Pain
And now it's time to go back to work. I wonder what the M62, M6, A50 and A38 will be like.
I'll tell you about that some other time!!!
PS. I still don't know where my suitcase is - somewhere in Europe I guess, but certainly not home.
5. Pleasure or Pain
I hope this was a pleasure for you to read. Share as wide as you want. I'm going to write an HR or Business related blog at least once a month for you. So keep tuned for the latest updates.
All the best for 2014 to all my readers.
(C) Iain Williamson 2014